


Wanna keep you here, 'cause you dry my tears.

by crumbleduppieceofpaper



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Black Pepper - Freeform, F/F, I guess you could say "Porn with feelings", I mean it's not /that/ smutty, Pepper-centric, but you don't want your mom to read along, kinda cute but also smutty, mentions trauma's and scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 22:54:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4455641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crumbleduppieceofpaper/pseuds/crumbleduppieceofpaper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pepper hates it when captain America leads his team into battle. What she hates more, though, is their return and the pain they bring back with them.</p><p>Although she's fairly sure she knows a way to make Natasha forget about hers, if only for a night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wanna keep you here, 'cause you dry my tears.

**Author's Note:**

> Song reccomendation: Talking Body by Tove Lo bc let's face it, that was the only thing that helped me through writing a sex scene.

Pepper hates it when The Avengers leave on a mission. She hates worrying about the team, she hates the way Tony always nearly dies and that cocky smile of his when he survives, she hates how Bruce snaps and destroys the whole city, she hates how Natasha is always the one who needs to calm him down, risking her own life.

Yes, she really does hate it when Captain America leads his team into battle.

There is something she hates more, though, and that is their return.

Don’t get her wrong, she loves to have them all by her side again, to cook them celebratory dinner (with Jarvis’ help, of course, because really, she can’t cook to save her life) and to see them all sitting at the dinner table, safe and sound, close to her.

But she hates to see the new scars.

She hates that Bruce is afraid to look into her eyes for a few days, feeling guilty for what he’s done and terrified that he’ll do it again.

She can’t stand that Steve is quiet, that he goes to visit Peggy all the time and comes back, looking even more miserable. She always has to call Bucky to come and cheer him up.

She understands that Clint leaves to see his family, but she still misses him.

It hurts her to see the way Thor makes extra jokes to try and cover up all the damage that has been done to him, all the cracks in his armor. She hears him walking around his room, lifting Mjölnir in the middle of the night to assure himself that he’s still worthy.

No matter how much she tries not to let it bother her, it disappoints her time after time that Tony disappears into his lab for weeks in a row, trying to put all his frustrations in his work. She wishes he could talk to her, but he doesn’t, he keeps his secrets close to his electromagnet heart and maybe that is the main reason that they’ve been on a break for a long time.

What she hates most of all, though, is the hurt in Natasha’s eyes. She often catches Natasha staring out the window, daydreaming, looking disturbed and sad when she returns to reality. Natasha is too proud to ask for help, Pepper knows that, so she makes it a habit of serving Natasha extra food, of offering Natasha the softest bed in the biggest guest room, of walking by Natasha’s room in the middle of the night (after she has been woken up by Thor) to make sure she doesn’t hear Natasha screaming out in nightmares.

It is after the mission against Ultron that Natasha is the one to walk by _her_ room.

 

Pepper is watching some stupid TV show when there’s a knock on her door. She turns off the sound of the television, not sure if she’s just imagining things.

But then there’s a small voice on the other side of the other door and she recognizes it as Natasha’s immediately.

“Pepper?” Natasha asks and Pepper gets up immediately, combing a hand through her hair and pulling her pajama shorts down a bit.

When she opens the door Natasha is standing on the other side, the hurt in her eyes more apparent than ever before.

“Hey,” Pepper says with her softest voice and Natasha opens her mouth to say something but she looks so shaken that Pepper grabs her arm and pulls her inside. For a minute she’s concerned that she’s assuming too much, that Natasha didn’t want to come in, but then she realizes that Natasha can kill people with just a flick of her wrist and Pepper’s pretty sure that Natasha could’ve stopped her if she hadn’t wanted to come in.

Pepper sits down on her bed and pats the space next to her. Natasha sits down carefully.

It takes a while before Natasha starts talking and Pepper waits patiently, glad that Natasha even came to her.

Natasha looks up at Pepper through her eyelids and says, “I’m sorry I came to you so late. Steve’s off somewhere with Bucky and Bruce has his own problems to take care of. You’ve been taking so good care of me, better than of the others.”

Pepper blushes. Natasha noticed. Of course she did. She’s a trained spy, Pepper, don’t be stupid.

“I’m glad you came,” she reassures Natasha. Natasha smiles at her, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.

Pepper’s quite sure Natasha won’t start talking without an invitation so she asks, “Are you okay?”

“It’s too much, Pepper,” Natasha sighs, looking down at her hands, “I can’t do it anymore.”

“You don’t have to. You are not obliged to put your life on the line, Nat.”

“It’s not that,” Natasha says. She looks up at Pepper with tears in her eyes.

“My past… It keeps haunting me. I can’t see it all anymore. I close my eyes but my memories play in front of my eyelids like a movie. It keeps me awake. It keeps me from eating. I have to force every spoon down my throat but I can’t enjoy a good dinner anymore.”

Pepper nods. She knows that she will never fully understand it but she will do anything to bring a smile back on Natasha’s face, that beautiful smile that makes Pepper stomach turn, so she says, “You wanna watch stupid sitcoms with me? I can get Jarvis to bring us some ice cream? Maybe that’ll help with your eating problem.”

“As attractive as that sounds, I’m not one for late night comfort food,” Natasha chuckles through her tears.

“Are you sure? I remember I used to find you in our kitchen at 3 a.m., back when you were Natalie,” Pepper teases her. Natasha smiles.

“That’s because I was spying on you guys.”

“Oh, right. I nearly forgot,” Pepper laughs.

She didn’t, really.

She had felt very hurt when she first heard that Natalie, the woman she was now starting to consider a friend (and also a woman crush), who had been a great support to her when she had gone through all that shit with Tony, had actually been a spy all along. When the Avengers came over, it had been awkward at first, with Natasha sometimes bringing up stuff they had talked about before she had turned out to have a secret identity, or Pepper accidentally calling her Natalie, but they soon returned to normal because somehow, they just fitted together. Natasha wasn’t very easy to talk to, but Pepper found the silence between them was a very comfortable one.

“I’m sorry about that, Pep,” Natasha says, “You were never the target and I’m sorry you got dragged into it.”

“It’s okay. I’ve forgiven you a long time ago.”

“I’m glad,” Natasha says, but there are tears in her eyes. When they fall, Pepper can’t help herself. She moves closer to Natasha and wipes them away with her thumbs. It surprises her that Natasha doesn’t move away and even more so how soft Natasha’s skin is.

“You helped me so many times back then. You gave me massages in the middle of the night. You tucked me into bed. You made me dinner when I had burned it,” Pepper recalls, and she laughs at the memory. So does Natasha.

“Those moments were never Fury’s orders, Pepper, I hope you know that. That was real. You and me,” Natasha says and as Pepper looks into her eyes, she can see just how vulnerable Natasha is right now.

“I know, I know. You always comforted me so well,” Pepper replies and continues, “Now let me take care of you.”

She knows this is wrong. She knows Natasha probably doesn’t return her feelings, whatever feelings she has. She knows Tony and her are not completely over yet. She knows Natasha won’t stay forever. But it feels right, for now, it feels good and warm and safe, and it feels like Natasha needs this, so she leans in and presses her lips onto Natasha’s.

It takes a while before Natasha registers what’s going on and for a moment there is a pang of fear in Pepper’s stomach and she’s about to pull back to apologize when Natasha’s lips start moving against hers. Natasha’s lips are soft and warm and when she parts them slightly, Pepper slips in her tongue.

Natasha’s hands brush Pepper’s sides while Pepper’s are in Natasha’s hair, brushing Natasha’s scalp and tangling her hands in soft hair.

Suddenly, Natasha’s tongue does this thing and _wow_ , Pepper suddenly understands how it is so easy for her to wrap guys around her finger. She moans and nearly dreams away but then she realizes that this was all about comforting Natasha, not about her, so she pulls away and, before Natasha can say anything, starts trailing kisses down Natasha’s jaw. When she gets to Natasha’s collar bone, she starts using her tongue a little, sucking at all the right spots and Natasha’s moan of approval shoots a heat through Pepper’s body.

Pepper leans away to look at Natasha’s face and when she sees that Natasha’s cheeks are the same color as her hair, she smirks. Natasha notices and mumbles, “Shut up.”

Pepper doesn’t reply. She tugs at the hem of Natasha’s shirt instead, so incredibly glad that Natasha’s not in her cat suit right now – although Pepper can’t deny that she always slightly blushes at the sight of that. Natasha takes it off, leaving her in a black bra. She shuffles back a bit so that they’re not on the edge of the bed anymore and Pepper instructs, in the most seductive voice she can manage, “Lay down.”

Natasha obeys and Pepper shuffles over, placing her left thigh at one side of Natasha’s body and her right thigh at the other.

She bends down over Natasha’s body, exploring the new skin just above Natasha’s bra and when Natasha moans, she looks up at Natasha to ask for consent. Natasha nods, so Pepper takes off Natasha’s bra and starts sucking at the skin around her nipples. She knows how sensitive this spot is and when she moves on to Natasha’s nipple, Natasha lets out a remarkably loud moan.

Pepper had never expected that she would hear Natasha make these noises and definitely not this loud. They have the whole floor to themselves but Pepper still leans back to whisper, “Jarvis, music.”

Jarvis must know exactly what kind of mood Pepper is in, because Tove Lo starts playing and Pepper grins.

“Pepper,” Natasha sighs from underneath her. Pepper smiles. If you had told her a year ago that she was going to be on top of agent Romanoff and that said spy was going to be begging for her, she would’ve laughed in your face.

“Patience,” she teases Natasha and comments to Jarvis, “Jarvis? No word about this to Tony.”

“Noted, miss Potts,” Jarvis replies and Pepper swears she hears embarrassment in his voice. She smirks and returns to Natasha’s body, kissing down her stomach and running into a big scar, but deciding not to ask about it, planting a soft kiss onto it instead.

“Let’s take this off,” she says, sliding down Natasha’s pajama pants. She moves down Natasha’s body along with the pants, her mouth now just above the spot Natasha’s trying to direct her to.

She kisses the insides of Natasha’s thighs slowly, wondering how long it will take before Natasha forcefully pushes Pepper’s head into her center.

“Pepper, please,” Natasha moans and it’s so hot that Pepper has to grip into the bed sheets to keep control over her body.

She sneaks one finger into Natasha’s panties, sensing how wet the inside of Natasha’s underwear is and feeling her own underwear get a little wetter at the feel of it. She slides her fingers gently across Natasha’s clit and feels satisfied at the shiver Natasha replies with. This is all so new to Pepper but it all comes so naturally and it all feels so great, especially with Natasha making those noises.

“Pepper,” Natasha whispers.

“What do you want, Natasha?” Pepper teases.

“You,” Natasha replies immediately, no hesitation in her voice as she begs again, “Please, Pepper.”

Pepper gives in, kissing down Natasha’s stomach and then suddenly, her head is in-between thighs. She has no idea what to do here, no experience, so she starts exploring Natasha. At some point, Natasha’s moans get louder and Pepper knows she has found the right spot.

Natasha’s thighs curl around Pepper’s neck, bringing her in closer, and even though these thighs have killed men, Pepper could not feel more content right now.

It doesn’t take long for Natasha to come. With a swirl of Pepper’s tongue, Natasha’s body starts shaking heavily and her orgasm comes quickly.

Pepper grins, satisfied with what she’s done. She crawls back up Natasha’s body and lies down next to her, watching Natasha as she tries to get a grip on her breathing.

Natasha breathes in deeply, turning to Pepper and grinning, “Your turn.”

 

The next morning Pepper is woken up by the sunrays shining into her room. She always sleeps lightly, always on edge and stand-by in case anything happens, and leaves the blinds open so that the sun awakes her around 7 a.m. every morning.

She sits up in bed and, while she realizes what happened last night, turns around. Natasha is still there, her back resting against the headboard of the bed, her pajama back on and a book in front of her. Pepper sighs a breath of relief at the sight of her.

“Hey,” Natasha smiles.

“Good morning,” Pepper replies, smiling widely at the sight of Natasha’s short locks, which are still in a sex-hair-coupe, and the little bruises on her collar bones. They’re the only scars on Natasha’s body that were caused by love, Pepper knows, and she’s proud.

“Good sleep?” Natasha asks and Pepper nods.

“You didn’t sleep?” she questions.

“I did, for a little bit. I usually lay awake for months after missions, you know. But you exhausted me so much last night…” Natasha’s voice trails off and Pepper bites her lip to stop a huge grin from taking over face.

“Kinda thought you’d be gone when I woke up,” she confesses to Natasha, not sure if she’s supposed to open up like that but trying it anyway. It’s not like she needs to know exactly where they stand, but it wouldn’t hurt her to know a direction.

Natasha frowns, “Was I supposed to be?”

“No, no,” Pepper is quick to assure her, “I’m glad you’re still here. Really glad.”

Natasha smiles and leans into Pepper, pecking her on the lips. Pepper grins that huge grin anyway and shuffles her body closer over to Natasha’s, resting her head on Natasha’s chest and sighing contently.

Natasha presses a kiss on Pepper’s forehead and plays with her hair while she returns to her book.

“I should get up, start baking pancakes,” Pepper starts to get up after a while but Natasha pulls her back down.

“Let Jarvis do that, you and I both know your pancakes are shit.”

Pepper feigns shock, “How dare you criticize my pancakes?”

Natasha just laughs, “Shhh. Just relax. You don’t always have to look after us.”

Pepper repositions, her face now hiding in Natasha’s neck and an arm spread across Natasha’s stomach.

“Is this just an excuse to keep me cuddling you?”

“Maybe,” Natasha says and Pepper can hear the smile in her voice. She smirks into Natasha’s neck.

Right here, next to Natasha, is maybe not secure. It is not safe. It is not stable. But it is the first time in the last month that she’s ever truly been able to relax and, feeling Natasha’s slow breathing beneath her, she realizes that that may be enough for now.


End file.
